This post is going to be one of the most “white people problems” posts ever on WordPress. I know, that’s really saying a lot. But, the past year has been exceptionally difficult for me. I was thrown a massive curveball. For my entire life I dreamed of living in NYC. I got that dream directly after college. I spent 17 years living a life I loved in a place I adored. For a lot of personal reasons that I don’t want to write about, I ended up moving to Seattle. The vibe, people, and “culture” here have not exactly welcomed me with the open arms that NYC did. The adjustment from a job I really enjoyed and a lifestyle that enriched me to a lot more time alone and in my car, was something I was not equipped for. I spent a year moping and trying on a variety of workout places, jobs, and activities. None of it seemed to help and none of it fit.
All of that leads to Hawaii. We (family) decided to take a true vacation. Every year we have familial and NYC obligations that we have to travel to. We needed something that was just us and just fun. The decision was made to go to Hawaii. A benefit of being here in Seattle is the relative closeness of Hawaii. We decided on Honolulu. It was the best decision of this entire year.
Hawaii is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen in person. Mountains lush and green, oceans with pale sand and clear blue water, and vistas and views that made me stop and think about God. This is a place where the clouds are white and fluffy and are constantly moving across a clear, blue sky. Every day I got to put my skin under a yellow sun, my feet in the sand, and my whole being in a calming embrace. During the time in Hawaii I hiked, learned about Polynesian culture, ate amazing food, snorkeled in two amazing bays, read a lot, stayed off the internet, and basically placed my whole being on a charger.
This trip helped me realize one really important thing; I am the captain of my own happiness. I can bemoan and nitpick and generally be negative. This place (Seattle) isn’t going to make me happy. I don’t fit in and that is fine. I don’t need to fit in. I need to find the things that make me happy and DO THEM. Now is the time to be the me that makes me happy. Thank you Hawaii for helping me see this.